Should You Hang Out With Your Friends When Being In A Relationship?
When I was browsing some forums a few days ago, I encountered a post written by a female person, about “how to know whether or not he really loves her”. The title caught my attention, and I started reading. The article was not bad, but astonishingly one of the points stated, that if female partner is away from home for a few days (for example on a business trip or what ever other reason), it should be expected that the male partner would sit at home and wait for her, in stead of meeting up with his friends and have a party.
I nearly choked in my cheese sandwich.
Being a man myself, and one with what I believe is an interesting lifestyle, I think it is ridiculous not to grant your partner (either male or female) the joy of being with friends and having a good laugh. But actually this article did make me think. And indeed, within no time I discovered more articles on different websites, which made similar statements. Obviously, and I find this quite shocking, many people (both men and women) believe that a relationship means giving up one’s own lifestyle, one’s own friends. And many people believe, that having a party can be done while being single, but not when having someone else around the house.
So, how about combining a relationship and you friends? Should you hang out with your friends while you are in a relationship?
The relationship as an addition in life
I want to careful to state that something is right or wrong, but I see a relationship as an addition to the life I am having. I love being in a long-term relationship, and I love having a beautiful and intelligent woman by my side. But I also love my life. Although I am not prepared to give up my previous life, my friends, I do realize that it will be a bit different.
It is imperative that both partners have similar viewpoints in order for a relationship to work. Often, partners have different standpoints in a relationship; whereas one is maintaining his or her life, meeting up with friends, and also doing things alone, the other half expects his or her partner to give up his or her previous life. Such a mindset is likely to lead to jealousy and unhappiness, because one of the two has the feeling of being left out.
In any relationship, you should allow your partner a certain degree of freedom. Referring to the above example, I would be more than happy to hear that when I am away for a few days, that my partner is having a good time with her friends in stead of sitting home alone and waiting for my return. Actually, I would expect it.
Involve your partner
Therefore, in order to prevent the other person from being left out, it is important to involve your partner at all times. Although it is well possible to do the things you did prior to being in a relationship, it is important to realize that you will perhaps not be able to do it as often as you like, or as intensive as you like. For example, you might have met up with your friends four times a week when you were single; this will not work when being in a relationship.
Although you can still do the things you did previously, it is imperative to provide your share to the relationship. This means, that whenever possible you will invite your partner to come along, if he or she wants to. Alternatively, it is perfectly okay to have a men’s or girl’s night out, but you need to inform your partner, and ensure that the two of you have nothing else planned for that night.
Being in a relationship sometimes means you have to make a small sacrifice for the good of your partner. Being sensible is a very important element of any relationship, as is putting your partner first. I have seen occasions where people went to party with their friends when their partner was sick or hospitalized; people inviting friends over for dinner whereas the partner needs to concentrate to study for an exam.
Sensibility is important, in a sense that you show to your partner that you care, and that you place your partner first. But sensibility also means, that you allow your partner to have a good life; it means that you allow him or her to have a party every now and then, also without you. It is one of these features many people (unfortunately) feel uncomfortable with.
It should be perfectly okay to still do the things you did when being in a long-term relationship. No relationship should demand that you give up your old lifestyle, or that you dismiss your friends. However, being in a relationship also demands a much higher involvement of your partner, and a greater sensibility. In the end, your are not alone and it is not possible to make decisions by yourself.